We've Been Everywhere, Man

This week has seriously been the best vacation for our family. I don't know if you would call it a stay-cation really because although we did not stay in a hotel (much) we were on the move nearly every waking minute.

SATURDAY
We went with Daddybear to his gun club's annual family picnic at a local park. Beautiful place and great classic wooden park. Reminded me of a park near our home growing up with great metal slides and big wooden steps. So. Much. Fun. Babybear and I spent most of the day exploring the park, she on her bike. We biked across a bridge and adventured down by the river. We ran her around to use up her energy and she had a perfect nap on the way home.

SUNDAY
After church...well, let's talk about church. We have been dropping Anna off at children's church every week and she has been doing amazing there. Always coloring and walking in easily, excited to make friends and see familiar faces. We were incredibly nervous about her first week but she walked in like, "Mom, it's no big deal. Leave me alone."
So after church we went home to change and packed a lunch. Then we headed out to check out the Como Zoo. If you have not been there, it is a must in the Minneapolis area. So many great animals and things to do and free, or donation only. So we like to go a few times a year. She LOVED it. I think we will make it a weekly thing once school starts and it's not so busy.

MONDAY
We left early and drove north for her first visit to Gko-Gko and Pop-Pop's house, my parents. We had talked about it a lot and she was pretty excited. She was also excited to see the dog. And what a great trip. We met the dog and had a love/hate relationship with her, made a new stepping stone with our footprints, went to the beach, had Indian Tacos, and ran wild in the yard all day. Perfect trip. By he end of the visit Cheyenne, who is, as some of you know, still very much a rambunctious puppy who cannot hold still or be held, was staying in place and allowing Anna to give her hugs on command!! We all were astonished. I'm pretty sure it's a safe bet that those two will be close friends.

WEDNESDAY
I had a visit with Anna's counselor in themorning so she got to spend time with Daddybear...at another gun owners picnic!! But they had a great time together. I had a good session with the counselor, got some good tips and some much needed encouragement.
Later in the afternoon Anita, our case manager from God's Children, stopped by for her second post placement visit with us. It went great and we talked a lot about the last trip to OKC and the near future. We also talked about the timeline for the next adoption, but really no rush at all!!
After Anita left we hit the road again and headed for IKEA and the Mall of America!! A lot of firsts this week! We got some great kids stuff at IKEA and had fun window shopping together.

THURSDAY
Thursday morning we left early for Stillwater for some thrifting, yarn shopping, and river walking....with a great big giant ice cream too. Anna was absolutely in awe of the ice cream at Nelson's, which is seriously the size of my head. So we shared and enjoyed it together in the hot, ice cream-melting sun. We also picked up some yarn for her hat and mittens. She is really looking forward to winter and probably counting down days. I want to warn her, but how do you warn a southerner about the tundra? She loves snow and snowmen, but is probably not used to -40 weather and 5 months of snow...but well deal with that when we get to it...in January when we are both suffering from cabin fever! And yarn...for a little hat...to cover my daughter's head? I nearly shed big ugly joyful tears at the register in front of the yarn lady. Melted to a puddle of joy and astonishment and gratitude and awe and wonder right there. At the beginning of last winter I was so stressed out about the home study and the house and infertility and a wedding - thinking again someone else to pass me by - that I mostly hibernated and knitted for therapy. Now I am knitting for joy and a purpose! There really are no words.

FRIDAY
I stayed home and cleaned the neglected house so we had some clean dishes to use while the other bears went garage saling in the neighborhood. Then we all put our suits on and went to the splash pad. Which was COLD!! I love the water but I grew up in the lakes and am most happy staying in the water and paddling around, not running through freezing water then standing in cold breezes! But at least the other two enjoyed it to their hearts' content. After the splash pad it was home for lunch, some more thrifting, and then a pool party in the backyard...which ended with all three of us soaked in our clothes and chasing each other with buckets and the hose. Spontaneous fun is always the best and most deeply felt.

SATURDAY
We headed out early for Minnehaha Falls with Babybear's bike. She pedaled for miles and miles then we walked down the hundreds of steps to check out the waterfall. She was wide eyed about it and absolutely thrilled to be able to walk through the river and play in the water together. Mamabear was a lot more excited than the both of them - this is how I enjoy water - but definitely had a more difficult time as she forgot her flip flops and navigated the sharp, rugged rocks and current bare foot!! But it was so much fun. I remember walked the trails and the river last year and dreaming about taking our children there in the future. It was a sweet and sorrowful dream. So full of hope but quickly cast aside for fear of defeat...but now, there we were, walking the water with our baby girl  together and laughing and squealing and splashing. All together. How amazing and wonderful and surprising is this life we are given?

SUNDAY
Church in the morning and Babybear was asking about it right away in the morning. I do LOVE our church but sometimes wonder about joining a smaller church,but it's these moments when I know we are in the right place for right now. She loves it. We love it. Maybe it will change in the future, but in this moment we are where we are meant to be.
I drove to church, which was quite unusual. Anna requested that Daddybear be in the back with her and I was happy to drive, to avoid the inevitable carsickness! So I braved the crowds of Sunday best barefaced and proud of it.
After church we set out for the Children's museum. Seriously, best decision ever. The third Sunday of every month is Target Free Day, where entrance is free and paid for by Target. I love Target more the ever, and I didn't really think that was possible! We were all over that place...in the water stations, on the roof, in the animal worlds, the Thomas exhibit, the pretend town with a grocery store and restaurant (as we are now all about shopping, having a cash register, and cooking) and the wild padded room for toddlers. Seriously, a room for kids under 4 with padding every where and carpet all over the place just so they can run to the joy of their little hearts! It was kind of a bummer that we found it last but I think it will be the first stop next month!!
We went home for some relaxing and goofing around together before the week ended and Daddy returned to work. But we made a quick stop at Target where something wonderful happened...
I told them I would be looking at dresses and that I would find them in a bit.so they continued on and started looking for me after a while. She called Mamabear then Jason told her to try Mommy and at that moment I called back. Later a few aisles later she asked me to carry her, and I did, and then she asked if I was a stranger, because we have been talking about the difference between strangers and friends. I said, No, I'm not a stranger. I'm your Mommy. After that it was Mommy this and Mommy that. Everything Mommy. I don't know exactly what happened or what changed in her mind, but somehow we have made it over Mamabear territory and into Mommy land.

And some things we have been noticing lately...
She is using amazing adjectives all over the place. Awesome. Adorable. Hilarious. Creepy. Ginormous. Big. Tiny. Aborbs. I think she is picking up on what I say and using it on her own, which is wonderful to watch right in front of my eyes. She's not always correct in her usage but her vocabulary is increasing everyday.

She is learning her shapes, but not just the basic circle, square, triangle. We have moved onto trapezoid, hexagon, octagon, diamond. She is soaking it up and I'm going to start letters in September! I think we are ready and I am really praying for wisdom, confidence, and guidance as we dive into the beginning of this homeschool thing...Lord knows I was never the most diligent student I just hope I can be a decent teacher for her. :/

We have hi the 2-3 week mark since her last visit with the foster family, which means she is talking about them nonstop some days. Maybe to remember them? Maybe to know they still exist somewhere? Maybe because she is still trying to figure this whole thing out? We try our best to not let it get to us but sometimes it's hard, especially when she tells us something we bought for her is from them, or that something we did with her she really did with them...and she fights us on it. I don't want to argue with a 3 year old but really I picked out that dress myself! And I took you to get cupcakes! So it's interesting and. It that much fun, but we push through because we know she will get it one day and know us as exclusively Mom and Dad.

Before this week of wild exploration and vacation with Jason, I was getting a little worried about our bonding and relationship. It seemed like every time Jason was around she wanted nothing to do with me. Not only that, her meltdowns and tantrums seemed to be getting worse and more...dare i say...violent towards me. I was wondering how we would make it another week. And how on earth would I homeschool her? I think most children who are parented well have an innate respect and bond with their mom. Yes they push buttons and are stubborn, but at the end of the day they smile and cuddle and cling. She was not and I was starting to get scared about our future together. And the time it would take to start that development. But throughout the weeks noticed small changes. She started sitting with me on the couch when Jason was home, listened to me without a meltdown, randomly came up to me and offered a hug (to which I was terrified that first that she was going to bit my neck!) she held both our hands and even wanted me to carry her and push the cart she was riding in! Jason did have a lot of quality time with her and did have to do some discipline, some boom boo wiping and some behavior management. I think that along withal, the fun we had taught her that Mo is fun and Dad is just as much the  "mean" boss as Mom. I think we are moving along well now, more than ever. And because I wrote this I will most likely get slapped later tonight and doubt again but I'll try to remember all the positive changes we are making and that I need to give grace all around - to her and myself.