Moving Forward: Application Sent

The application has been sent!

Put it in the mailbox yesterday afternoon. I should have taken a picture!

Next step: home study.

We did have a little hiccup there or a few days. Plans changed, as they have a way of doing. And I find myself wondering,  why do we even make plans?

The plan was to buy the good man's grandmother's house when she moved. But we just found out she might not be moving for another six months to a year. *wrench thrown rather skillfully* We planned to be moving in the fall and decided to wait until we did to start the home study. The home study has to be completed in the residence that the children we will moving to. So…

I had a mini meltdown. Cried and shook a fist or two. Sick of waiting. So we, the good man and I, talked and prayed and prayed some more.  Went to bed and woke up with a new plan.

The plan now:  There really is no plan. We're just going to keep moving forward. We'll do the home study here, as much as I wanted to avoid it. And if we do move we'll just have to update it. It seems so silly. And it is. How do I become one of those fearless women who looks obstacles in the face and they crumble??

My biggest fear is creating all this support and getting people involved and excited and cheering us on, only to remain childless two years from now. Disappointment and embarrassment. But as I was driving along the highway today I was reminded, again, that this isn't about me. This isn't about winning, succeeding. It's about God and his glory and his plan. And how he works out the next few years is up to him. I'm just along for the ride. And I shouldn't be ashamed. Who knows? Maybe I'll bug enough people about adoption  that they might adopt too. And who's to say that wasn't His plan all along?

And when I rest in his arms, rather than stewing in my worry, I'm not afraid. Not of the money, although it towers. Not of the ending, although it is unknown. Not of the failed attempts of others, although there may be dark moments. I know He goes before me and tomorrow belongs to Him.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deut. 31:8

"I know that You [God] can do all things, no plan of Yours can be thwarted." Job 42:2