Adoption: A Way of Life, A Leap of Faith

Why did we choose to adopt?

I'm not sure how to answer that. But let me start at the beginning. Adoption was not so much a choice as it was a way of life.

Most of my adventure stories are about my sister, Bean (Kristin Jean Jelly Bean), and I when we were growing up. We're really close in age so it was like having a twin -- but not. (A little red-headed twin with monster bangs and a stubborn loathing for lima beans.) And we were always together, because we had no friends. Not really. We had loads of friends. Parents PAID to have their kids play with us, at our house. So what if my mom ran a daycare? The kids were really there to see us! We were just…always together and finding trouble. So the adventures pretty much tell themselves.

I have a sister.

 And I have a brother. Alex Bro Jelly Roll. Ro'. This adventure is about him. The best adventure yet because one day turned into a lifetime and this little man changed…everything.

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A Leap of Faith

It was a normal day. So normal that I cannot recall anything specific that we were doing. Most likely, I was in my room reading or listening to music. Bean was probably in her room, studying, or in the kitchen chatting with my mom. My dad could have been at work. I'm not sure. But that normal, nothing special day turned into the day that changed all the rest. The day that my life shifted, our lives shifted, and moved and become something completely...else. How does one describe that fork in the road that marked a new life, a different life, an adventure and journey so amazing that we just cannot imagine living any other way, cannot fathom returning to the old usual, normal, nothing-special day?

My parents received a call. A ring. Is that the sound that life-change makes?

A most important call, dripping heavy with big decisions, tough choices, unimaginable circumstances and a whispered question: Will you take the baby?

A family member had discovered that she was unexpectedly expecting. And after what must have been the most agonizing few weeks, decided that the best decision would be to place this little life, still unborn, in an adoptive family. And one family came to mind. Our family.

Yes.

Yes. Of course, yes!

I now know the ins and outs of this decision. The late night conversations and discussions whispered between my parents as my sister and I continued our days. There was a lot to consider. Would they be able to take in another person, a little person? Could they feed another belly? What about the age difference? My sister was twelve and I, thirteen. Were they too old for a newborn? This was not just babysitting, but a baby that would grow into a toddler, a child, a teenager...were they ready to start all over with another one?

I now know the ins and outs of this decision but then, from my young eyes, there appeared to be a heartbeat's time between question and confident answer. Yes. All the reasons to say no could not have been outweighed by all the reasons to say yes. Most important, how in the world could they say no to this little innocent life who needed a home and a family?

My parents weren't looking to adopt, only opened their eyes to the idea, raised their palms in surrender and God dropped my brother into their hands. And in the face of questioning eyes and doubts and fears, they packed their bags when the time came and returned with a little, wriggly, beautiful baby boy.

Alex.

We brought him home and it was as if finally our little family was complete. A completeness we never knew we needed. But once filled, we can't even begin to imagine life before him. How quiet and boring and bland and empty. He rounded us out and filled the spaces we didn't know we had. From that first day on, I cannot imagine life without this little silly person all boy and wild and burly and tall and snappy and fun. How did we not notice the huge chunk of us missing? And all I can think is that it was made right before we started looking to fix it ourselves.

And most amazingly, my parents were able to finalize the adoption without a homestudy, placement fees, post placement visits...It wasn't like my parents set out to avoid these things. They gladly provided everything required. They would have paid fees and done studies. Ro' is worth it. He's worth everything. But these things were simply not required in this case. And as I listen to my mom telling me every detail of this story, I am in awe.

Ro' is adopted. It's not something we avoid talking about. My family is pretty open about it. He's known this small detail from the very beginning, because one's story is important. Because his story is so amazing, how could we not tell it?

My brother has always known two things. One: He is loved and our brother. Never thought of as less of a sibling or son. He is 100% ours and always meant to be. Two: His birth story is different from ours, only because he took a different road to get here, where he belongs. It doesn't mean his story, his birth story, is somehow tragic or tinged with intrigue. If anything, his story is more wonderful, beautiful, amazing, and miraculous than ours.

How God must have planned this out, perfectly. How it all came together -- like he was meant to be with us from the beginning. Maybe because he WAS! God knew this. I am certain. He knew this little one would be in our family, just taking a different road than my sister and I.
  

and more to come...